Remembering our beautiful Poppy Rose. If love alone could have saved you, you would have stayed with us forever.
I wrote this letter to my anxiety about 6 years ago, before we lost Poppy. My anxiety is still with me, something I have grown to understand will always be a part of me. In ways it has grown massively yet in other ways maybe I have grown to find my coping strategies with help from Poppy.
Continue reading “Dear Anxiety – Raising Awareness”
On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.
Continue reading “A Letter to my Angel Baby – Early Miscarriage”
I lost an earing today,
It maybe small to you but it was big to me.
For that little earing held so much; a passage of time, a connection, so much love.
I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.
Continue reading “To My Earth Side Children; I’m Sorry”
I will sit with you in the darkness as I never want anyone to be alone. Baby Loss can bring so many complex emotions. No one should ever feel alone, isolated or scared by themselves. Finding the support you need is so important.
Continue reading “I will sit with you in the darkness…”
Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.
Continue reading “Trying to find the Beauty – Searching for love in grief”
A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.
Continue reading “A Year Since Our Hardest Goodbye – Baby loss and grief”
Elephant on my chest. This is the only way I can describe how my emotional pain became physical. I felt as though my chest was being crushed and I was fighting for breath. It felt as though an elephant was sitting on my chest.
Continue reading “Elephant on my chest – Baby loss and grief”
Dear Poppy
So today is the day you were due to enter into our world. A day we were so excited about. But instead 16 weeks ago today you entered our world dreaming sweet dreams. How I wish things were different and we were waiting anxiously to meet you.
Continue reading “On The Day You Were Due – Baby loss”
Feticide. One of many medical words which I wish I knew absolutely nothing about. Feticide is a medical procedure to stop your baby’s heart from beating before inducing labour 48 hours later.
Continue reading “What Feticide Really Means – TFMR”