I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.
I will sit with you in the darkness as I never want anyone to be alone. Baby Loss can bring so many complex emotions. No one should ever feel alone, isolated or scared by themselves. Finding the support you need is so important.
Losing your baby is hard. Beyond hard. Every families journey is different and some get answers whilst others have no answers at all. I’m not sure which is easier though? Not that any part of baby loss is easy. Being given an answer as to why our babies couldn’t stay with us or when there is no reason at all.
I don’t usually share photos of my family. Below you will find a photo of myself and my family where we are happy and smiling on holiday. I felt I needed to share the story behind my family photo to show how important it is that images we see can reflect the wrong story. You’ll often find that the reality is very different to what the eye can see.
Christmas without you is hard. A constant array of emotions are fighting internally as everyone around you is celebrating. Christmas is a time for family. So when a part of you is in heaven you’re forever torn between here and there.
Baby loss awareness month and week are incredibly important in raising awareness of our world. We live this every single day not just a month or a week. It’s our time to share a little of what our loss is like. No one can understand what we have been through and what we go through each day. Unless sadly you have walked in our shoes. Through this post I would like to show a glimpse into a few of our feelings.
October is Baby Loss Awareness month. Or also known as Pregnancy and Infant loss month. During October the baby loss community comes together to highlight the devastating world of baby loss and sadly how common it actually is. 1 in 4 women will experience a loss – miscarriage, stillbirth, compassionate induction and neonatal death. There are just no words to comprehend the impact our losses have on us and in turn the unbelievable pain that we will feel forever.
A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.