Remembering our beautiful Poppy Rose. If love alone could have saved you, you would have stayed with us forever.
Christmas without you is hard. Such an array of emotions when everyone around you is celebrating. It’s a time for family but when you have a part of yourself in heaven you’re forever torn between here and there.
Continue reading “Christmas Without You – Baby Loss and Grief”
Baby loss awareness month and week are incredibly important in raising awareness of our world. We live this every single day not just a month or a week. It’s our time to share a little of what our loss is like. No one can understand what we have been through and what we go through each day. Unless sadly you have walked in our shoes. Through this post I would like to show a glimpse into a few of our feelings.
Continue reading “Baby Loss Awareness: What we’d like you to know”
October is Baby Loss Awareness month. Or also known as Pregnancy and Infant loss month. During October the baby loss community comes together to highlight the devastating world of baby loss and sadly how common it actually is. 1 in 4 women will experience a loss – miscarriage, stillbirth, compassionate induction and neonatal death. There are just no words to comprehend the impact our losses have on us and in turn the unbelievable pain that we will feel forever.
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Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.
Continue reading “Trying to find the Beauty”
A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.
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Five. This is our number. This is the number of beautiful babies we have created. Yet the world only see 3. The world see my precious daughter and 2 precious sons.
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Dear Poppy
So today is the day you were due to enter into our world. A day we were so excited about. But instead 16 weeks ago today you entered our world dreaming sweet dreams. How I wish things were different and we were waiting anxiously to meet you.
Continue reading “On the day you were due”
Just because I don’t have my baby in my arms it doesn’t mean that I’m not her Mummy, that I didn’t give birth to her, that my body hasn’t had to recover from pregnancy, labour and birth.
Continue reading “Just because….”
To my midwives, thank you will never be enough…..
To Sarah the midwife who took care of us after our 20 week scan when concerns were first picked up. Thank you for sitting with us as I cried, for sorting our hospital appointment at UCH so fast, for ringing to check we were OK and to get updates from our visits to London, for talking me through what I needed to do the day before our induction.
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Making memories was something that never occurred to me when going into hospital to give birth to Poppy. The day before our induction day Rob and I went shopping for a blanket and teddy for Poppy. We got two so Poppy could have one set and us the other. On the morning my induction began one of the midwives said to us that we would have plenty of opportunities to make memories. At the time I didn’t really know what she meant and didn’t think much more about it. My mind was racing with the unknown of Poppy’s induction and I wasn’t really taking much on board.
Continue reading “Making Memories”