On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.
All content is my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experience from my own journey of baby loss. This post may contain affiliate links, please see the Copyright and Disclosures page for more information.
A Letter to my angel baby
To My Angel Baby
I never got to hold you or smell your beautiful baby smell. I didn’t get the chance to hear your heartbeat or feel you move around inside of me. Mummy and Daddy never got to tell your sister and two brothers all about you or see you wriggle on a scan. I wasn’t able to give birth to you, hear your first cries or to feel that overwhelming feeling of love.
I never experienced any of these things with you but you were so very loved. And still are. There will be no firsts with you my baby. What I do know though is that all you ever had was love.
My angel baby you will always be a part of me, forever in my heart. Mummy and Daddy had so many dreams for you and we couldn’t wait to welcome you into our crazy, loving, beautiful family. We couldn’t wait to be a family of 6 and add even more love and happiness to us.
My angel baby you were taken from us too soon. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe and my body failed you. My heart hasn’t though and you are tucked deep within it forever.
Fly free my beautiful baby. One day I will be with you again and I will hold you and treasure you as only a Mummy can. Until then there will not be a day that goes past that you won’t be in my thoughts. You will always, always be a part of me.
I love you my beautiful baby
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IF YOU NEED ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:
Arc – Antenatal results and choices.
Petals – The Baby Loss Counselling Charity.
Tommy’s – Baby Charity – Together, for every baby.
Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.
Baby Loss Support Links – A dedicated page I have put together of a range of support links.
To find out more about my ‘Baby Loss and Grief Journal’ please click below: