Remembering our beautiful Poppy Rose. If love alone could have saved you, you would have stayed with us forever.
The Baby Loss and Grief Journal has been created to help grieving parents navigate their thoughts, feelings and complex emotions through writing. I personally have found writing to be a huge channel for my own grief. I therefore wanted to gift this form of therapy to others.
Continue reading “Baby Loss and Grief Journal – Writing through loss”
There are times in life when you are just broken. Times where everything is spiralling and you just have no control over anything. This is exactly where I was in the lead up to losing Poppy. In the weeks where we were going through Poppy’s diagnosis our lives were full of tests, scans, appointments and pure fear. I was beyond scared, I was beyond being able to cope. This is when I needed a coping strategy for scans, procedures, waiting in the horrendous side rooms, meetings. And to just survive. For me this is where the power of 100 started.
Continue reading “The Power of 100 – Distraction Technique – Baby Loss and Grief”
On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.
Continue reading “A Letter to my Angel Baby – Early Miscarriage”
I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.
Continue reading “To My Earth Side Children; I’m Sorry”
It took me a long time to accept therapy after losing Poppy. Two years after losing Poppy I hit a really bad place. At this point I needed to ask for help and my GP and Bereavement Midwife were incredible. My Bereavement Midwife was so relieved that I finally asked for the therapy sessions. She refereed me straight away for Psychotherapy.
Continue reading “After Psychotherapy – Baby Loss, Grief and Trauma”
I will sit with you in the darkness as I never want anyone to be alone. Baby Loss can bring so many complex emotions. No one should ever feel alone, isolated or scared by themselves. Finding the support you need is so important.
Continue reading “I will sit with you in the darkness…”
Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.
Continue reading “Trying to find the Beauty – Searching for love in grief”
A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.
Continue reading “A Year Since Our Hardest Goodbye – Baby loss and grief”
Dear Poppy
So today is the day you were due to enter into our world. A day we were so excited about. But instead 16 weeks ago today you entered our world dreaming sweet dreams. How I wish things were different and we were waiting anxiously to meet you.
Continue reading “On The Day You Were Due – Baby loss”
To my midwives, thank you will never be enough…..
To Sarah the midwife who took care of us after our 20 week scan when concerns were first picked up. Thank you for sitting with us as I cried and for sorting our hospital appointment at UCLH so fast. Thank you for ringing to check we were OK and to get updates from our visits to London. For talking me through what I needed to do the day before our induction.
Continue reading “To My Midwives, Thank You Will Never Be Enough”