There are times in life when you are just broken. Times where everything is spiralling and you just have no control over anything. This is exactly where I was in the lead up to losing Poppy. In the weeks where we were going through Poppy’s diagnosis our lives were full of tests, scans, appointments and pure fear. I was beyond scared, I was beyond being able to cope. This is when I needed a coping strategy for scans, procedures, waiting in the horrendous side rooms, meetings. And to just survive. For me this is where the power of 100 started.Continue reading “The Power of 100 – Distraction Technique – Baby Loss and Grief”
On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.Continue reading “A Letter to my Angel Baby – Early Miscarriage”
I lost an earing today,
It maybe small to you but it was big to me.
For that little earing held so much; a passage of time, a connection, so much love.
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To my earth side children; I’m sorry…
I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.Continue reading “To My Earth Side Children; I’m Sorry”
It took me a long time to accept therapy after losing Poppy. Two years after losing Poppy I hit a really bad place. At this point I needed to ask for help and my GP and Bereavement Midwife were incredible. My Bereavement Midwife was so relieved that I finally asked for the therapy sessions. She refereed me straight away for Psychotherapy.Continue reading “After Psychotherapy – Baby Loss, Grief and Trauma”
I will sit with you in the darkness as I never want anyone to be alone. Baby Loss can bring so many complex emotions. No one should ever feel alone, isolated or scared by themselves. Finding the support you need is so important.Continue reading “I will sit with you in the darkness…”
Losing your baby is hard. Beyond hard. Every families journey is different and some get answers whilst others have no answers at all. I’m not sure which is easier though? Not that any part of baby loss is easy. Being given an answer as to why our babies couldn’t stay with us or when there is no reason at all.Continue reading “When there is no reason… My Baby Loss Story”
I don’t usually share photos of my family. Below you will find a photo of myself and my family where we are happy and smiling on holiday. I felt I needed to share the story behind my family photo to show how important it is that images we see can reflect the wrong story. You’ll often find that the reality is very different to what the eye can see.Continue reading “The Story Behind the Photo – Our journey of love and loss”
In this post you will find 12 grief quotes written by others. Many of the words in these quotes I have been able to relate to and it makes me realise I am not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. I feel so grateful to others for sharing. This is something which I promised myself that I would do when I was in the delivery room with Poppy. Deep down I never wanted anyone to feel that they were alone whilst facing the raw reality of losing their baby.Continue reading “12 Grief Quotes – Navigating My Grief Through Words”
Christmas without you is hard. A constant array of emotions are fighting internally as everyone around you is celebrating. Christmas is a time for family. So when a part of you is in heaven you’re forever torn between here and there.Continue reading “Christmas Without You – Baby Loss and Grief”