I’ve always been the one to take the photos. I love photos, I love looking back and seeing moments in time that I have captured. But since losing Poppy maybe it has become a bit of an obsession. I need to take that photo.

All content is my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experience from my own journey of baby loss. This post may contain affiliate links, please see the Copyright and Disclosures page for more information.
When you have been shattered by a loss that is so unexpected, a loss where you have been robbed of a million memories you hold onto everything. When I say everything, I mean everything no matter how small. Sometimes the smallest moment, the smallest memory are the ones we cling to and never want to let go.
When we have experienced these loses you constantly live in fear of losing again. Of losing another part of who makes up your soul. My fear for my earth side children and my husband has grown incredibly. I have to work so hard at not letting this control me, or not allowing my children to do things, my fear for my family is beyond measure.
This fear has delved into my daily life of taking that photo, of trying to capture every single moment. I’m scared that one day these photos and the memories they capture will be all I have left. All I have left of the precious, beautiful family that my husband and I have created. As it stands we will always have a piece of our family missing. Poppy. To have part of you missing is to never feel whole, is to never feel that I can be the Mummy, the wife, that I should be. That I want to be.

So when I drive everyone crazy with stopping for a photo, when I hear the moans and groans I’m not trying to annoy everyone. I’m trying to calm that fear inside of me that I will lose again, that one day that photo is all I will have.
Please join Poppy’s journey on social media:
IF YOU NEED ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:
Arc – Antenatal results and choices.
Petals – The Baby Loss Counselling Charity.
Tommy’s – Baby Charity – Together, for every baby.
Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.
Baby Loss Support Links – A dedicated page I have put together of a range of support links.
To find out more about my ‘Baby Loss and Grief Journal’ please click below:

