Baby Loss Awareness: What we’d like you to know

Baby loss awareness month and week are incredibly important in raising awareness of our world. We live this every single day not just a month or a week. It’s our time to share a little of what our loss is like. No one can understand what we have been through and what we go through each day. Unless sadly you have walked in our shoes. Through this post I would like to show a glimpse into a few of our feelings.

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Baby Loss Awareness

October is Baby Loss Awareness month. Or also known as Pregnancy and Infant loss month. During October the baby loss community comes together to highlight the devastating world of baby loss and sadly how common it actually is. 1 in 4 women will experience a loss – miscarriage, stillbirth, compassionate induction and neonatal death. There are just no words to comprehend the impact our losses have on us and the unbelievable pain that we will forever feel.

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Trying to find the Beauty

Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.

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A year since our hardest goodbye

A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.

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Elephant on my chest

Elephant on my chest. This is the only way I can describe how my emotional pain became physical. I felt as though my chest was being crushed and I was fighting for breath. It felt as though an elephant was sitting on my chest.

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On the day you were due

Dear Poppy

So today is the day you were due to enter into our world. A day we were so excited about. But instead 16 weeks ago today you entered our world dreaming sweet dreams. How I wish things were different and we were waiting anxiously to meet you.

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Just because….

Just because I don’t have my baby in my arms it doesn’t mean that I’m not her Mummy, that I didn’t give birth to her, that my body hasn’t had to recover from pregnancy, labour and birth.

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What Feticide really means

Feticide. One of many medical words which I wish I knew absolutely nothing about. Feticide is a medical procedure to stop your baby’s heart from beating before inducing labour 48 hours later.

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To My Midwives, Thank You Will Never Be Enough

To my midwives, thank you will never be enough…..

To Sarah the midwife who took care of us after our 20 week scan when concerns were first picked up. Thank you for sitting with us as I cried, for sorting our hospital appointment at UCH so fast, for ringing to check we were OK and to get updates from our visits to London, for talking me through what I needed to do the day before our induction.

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