On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.Continue reading “A Letter to my Angel Baby – Early Miscarriage”
I lost an earing today,
It maybe small to you but it was big to me.
For that little earing held so much; a passage of time, a connection, so much love.
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To my earth side children; I’m sorry…
I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.Continue reading “To My Earth Side Children; I’m Sorry”
It took me a long time to accept therapy after losing Poppy. Two years after losing Poppy I hit a really bad place. At this point I needed to ask for help and my GP and Bereavement Midwife were incredible. My Bereavement Midwife was so relieved that I finally asked for the therapy sessions. She refereed me straight away for Psychotherapy.Continue reading “After Psychotherapy – Baby Loss, Grief and Trauma”
I will sit with you in the darkness as I never want anyone to be alone. Baby Loss can bring so many complex emotions. No one should ever feel alone, isolated or scared by themselves. Finding the support you need is so important.Continue reading “I will sit with you in the darkness…”
In this post you will find 12 grief quotes written by others. Many of the words in these quotes I have been able to relate to and it makes me realise I am not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. I feel so grateful to others for sharing. This is something which I promised myself that I would do when I was in the delivery room with Poppy. Deep down I never wanted anyone to feel that they were alone whilst facing the raw reality of losing their baby.Continue reading “12 Grief Quotes – Navigating My Grief Through Words”
Christmas without you is hard. A constant array of emotions are fighting internally as everyone around you is celebrating. Christmas is a time for family. So when a part of you is in heaven you’re forever torn between here and there.Continue reading “Christmas Without You – Baby Loss and Grief”
When I first started writing about Poppy and our journey, I promised myself that I would be honest and open. Speaking from the heart can be incredibly hard especially when talking about our experience of TFMR (Termination for medical reasons). At the beginning of our journey I was desperately seeking people who would be honest with me. At the time we were beyond scared and devastated. We were facing decisions no parent should ever have to face.Continue reading “Speaking from the Heart – TFMR”
Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.Continue reading “Trying to find the Beauty – Searching for love in grief”