I don’t usually share photos of my family. Below you will find a photo of myself and my family where we are happy and smiling on holiday. I felt I needed to share the story behind my family photo to show how important it is that images we see can reflect the wrong story. You’ll often find that the reality is very different to what the eye can see.
All content is my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experience from my own journey of baby loss. This post may contain affiliate links, please see the Copyright and Disclosures page for more information.
The Story Behind our Photo…
My family photos will never be complete as there will always be two faces missing. I wanted to share the story behind my photo to show how we never know what is happening in other peoples lives.
starting our family…
What this photo doesn’t show you is the difficulty we had conceiving our eldest. It resulted in us having to seek medical help and receive treatment. This photo doesn’t show you how incredibly hard this time was on us emotionally. Both in our everyday lives and as a couple. Eventually what we went through to start our family gave us an incredible strength as a couple. This strength, without a doubt, has been vital when we were finally blessed to be parents and the heartbreak we were set to face in the future.
What this photo doesn’t show you is that after our second baby I suffered with post natal depression. This photo doesn’t show how my anxiety, low moods and flashbacks still form a part of my every day life. This has had a big impact on mine and my families lives which I feel guilty for every single day. I therefore continue to take the medication that I started when our son was just three months old. This helps me to manage my every day life alongside support from my GP and Bereavement Midwife.
What this photo doesn’t show you is the additional support I received during my third pregnancy. I received this support as I have a history of depression/anxiety and PND after our second baby. This support continued once our little man was here with regular home visits from our Health Visitor.
What this photo doesn’t show you is the early miscarriage I had in March 2017. This completely broke our hearts.
What this photo doesn’t show you is the horrendous journey and heart shattering decisions we faced in Poppy’s pregnancy. It doesn’t show that our beautiful baby girl was born sleeping. That our world has been rocked to its core. No words will ever be able to describe how much we love and miss Poppy every moment of every day.
What this photo doesn’t show you is the fear, anxiety and panic I felt every single day of our Rainbow pregnancy. Or the ever conflicting emotions we feel of that we wouldn’t have our rainbow without losing Poppy. And we would never have had our rainbow if we hadn’t have lost Poppy.
I am incredibly lucky to say that what this photo does show is that everything we’ve been through we have always got each other. No matter what. We have a strength together that runs deeply through us.
Nobody knows what others are going through or have been through. Please don’t judge a picture perfect photo on social media and feel overwhelming envy. I know personally how easy it is to do.
This is the story behind my photo.
Take care and be gentle on yourselves . If you would like to share your own story I would be honoured to hear it. My love and biggest of hugs to you all as always. Sara x
Please join Poppy’s journey on social media:
IF YOU NEED ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:
Arc – Antenatal results and choices.
Petals – The Baby Loss Counselling Charity.
Tommy’s – Baby Charity – Together, for every baby.
Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.
Baby Loss Support Links – A dedicated page I have put together of a range of support links.
To find out more about my ‘Baby Loss and Grief Journal’ please click below: