Baby loss awareness month and week are incredibly important in raising awareness of our world. We live this every single day not just a month or a week. It’s our time to share a little of what our loss is like. No one can understand what we have been through and what we go through each day. Unless sadly you have walked in our shoes. Through this post I would like to show a glimpse into a few of our feelings.
We love to hear our babies names and we love to talk about our babies. So don’t ever feel scared of mentioning our babies in case you think we’d be upset. If anything it’s the absolute opposite.
We know some don’t know what to say. The unimaginable has happened and we have experienced a loss no one can comprehend. But we are the ones who have lost our babies. Our world has shattered around us. Please don’t ignore us, we need all the love and support we can get. We may not always respond but every gesture, message, hug, gift, anything will ALWAYS be remembered and treasured.
It’s hard for people to comprehend our loss and grief when they have never met our baby. Please believe me when I say my baby was here. I held my baby. I spent time with my baby and we had to cram a lifetime of memories into the smallest of moments.
Angel Daddy’s are incredible. The strongest. Through their grief they will often go into protective mode. Taking care of their partner and other children; holding everything together when all they want to do is fall apart. They have lost their baby too. They are still a Daddy.
This is something which I often feel people don’t realise. I went through labour and I gave birth. My baby was born and I held her and I loved her just as I did my living children when they were born. The only thing different was I couldn’t bring Poppy home.
It’s very common for people to moan about their disruptive nights with their new baby and I can remember after losing Poppy thinking how lucky they were. The nights can be endless and painful when all you’re left with is your own thoughts and no baby.
We speak about Poppy every single day. We include her in everything as she is our daughter. I will fight to break the silence around baby loss by talking about Poppy and raising awareness for as long as I am able to.
Losing your baby plunges you into the depths of darkness. No parent should ever have to face losing one of their children. I know that I’ll never be the same again. Although it changes you forever and you’ll grieve forever it doesn’t mean that our life stops completely. We do carry on, we move forward but our babies will move with us. I am unable to parent Poppy here on Earth so I will parent her from Heaven until I am able to be with her again.
I honestly don’t how I would have got through the past two years without the baby loss community. They truly are the most incredible people I know. I am blessed to have an amazing bereavement midwife who has created a community of angel families. They are literally there night and day. It’s a community nobody ever imagines becoming a part of. If you ever find yourself here you will always be surrounded by endless love and support.
Baby loss is hard to comprehend whether it has happened to you or not. I hope through this post that I have been able to give a little glimpse into how we feel and a little insight into our lives. I could write forever about Poppy, our journey, our feelings, our grief and the impact this has had upon us. I just hope that I have been able to raise a little awareness of a few of our thoughts and feelings.
If any angel Mummy’s or Daddy’s would like to add anything that they feel I have missed in raising baby loss awareness please feel free to add yours in the comments. Thank you. Sara x
If you need additional support:
Arc – Antenatal results and choices.
Petals – The Baby Loss Counselling Charity.
Tommy’s – Baby Charity – Together, for every baby.
Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.
All content is my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experience from my own journey of baby loss. This post may contain affiliate links, please see the Copyright and Disclosures page for more information.