Remembering our beautiful Poppy Rose. If love alone could have saved you, you would have stayed with us forever.
I’ve always been the one to take the photos. I love photos, I love looking back and seeing moments in time that I have captured. But since losing Poppy maybe it has become a bit of an obsession. I need to take that photo.
Continue reading “I Need to Take That Photo”
On the 18th March 2017 we began our journey of loss. We started to miscarry Poppy’s big brother or sister. I was petrified, I was heartbroken, I was a mess. No matter how small our babies are, they are still our babies and will always be. I didn’t know that this was going to be the start of a very long and hard life shattering journey. But I always keep our precious little one tucked away in a special place in my heart. I didn’t have any memories to hold onto – no scans or anything physical, so I wrote a letter to my angel baby.
Continue reading “A Letter to my Angel Baby – Early Miscarriage”
I’m sorry for not being the Mummy that I dreamt that I would be for you. I never imagined that motherhood would bring me so much pain. I struggle everyday to be the best Mummy I can be for you. To be a Mummy to children in both heaven and earth is a struggle every single day.
Continue reading “To My Earth Side Children; I’m Sorry”
I don’t usually share photos of my family. Below you will find a photo of myself and my family where we are happy and smiling on holiday. I felt I needed to share the story behind my family photo to show how important it is that images we see can reflect the wrong story. You’ll often find that the reality is very different to what the eye can see.
Continue reading “The Story Behind the Photo – Our journey of love and loss”
When I first started writing about Poppy and our journey, I promised myself that I would be honest and open. Speaking from the heart can be incredibly hard especially when talking about our experience of TFMR (Termination for medical reasons). At the beginning of our journey I was desperately seeking people who would be honest with me. At the time we were beyond scared and devastated. We were facing decisions no parent should ever have to face.
Continue reading “Speaking from the Heart – TFMR”
Baby loss awareness month and week are incredibly important in raising awareness of our world. We live this every single day not just a month or a week. It’s our time to share a little of what our loss is like. No one can understand what we have been through and what we go through each day. Unless sadly you have walked in our shoes. Through this post I would like to show a glimpse into a few of our feelings.
Continue reading “Baby Loss Awareness: What we’d like you to know”
October is Baby Loss Awareness month. Or also known as Pregnancy and Infant loss month. During October the baby loss community comes together to highlight the devastating world of baby loss and sadly how common it actually is. 1 in 4 women will experience a loss – miscarriage, stillbirth, compassionate induction and neonatal death. There are just no words to comprehend the impact our losses have on us and in turn the unbelievable pain that we will feel forever.
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Something I try to do amongst the utter shattered heart, the guilt and the pain of losing Poppy is to find the beauty. I have so much to be thankful for to our beautiful, precious girl.
Continue reading “Trying to find the Beauty – Searching for love in grief”
A year ago today we said our hardest ever goodbye. We laid our beautiful Poppy to rest. A parent should never ever have to bury their child. It was one of the toughest days of our lives yet Poppy’s service was beautiful and perfect for our little angel.
Continue reading “A Year Since Our Hardest Goodbye – Baby loss and grief”
Elephant on my chest. This is the only way I can describe how my emotional pain became physical. I felt as though my chest was being crushed and I was fighting for breath. It felt as though an elephant was sitting on my chest.
Continue reading “Elephant on my chest – Baby loss and grief”