Making memories was something that never occurred to me when going into hospital to give birth to Poppy. The day before our induction day Rob and I went shopping for a blanket and teddy for Poppy. We got two so Poppy could have one set and us the other. On the morning my induction began one of the midwives said to us that we would have plenty of opportunities to make memories. At the time I didn’t really know what she meant and didn’t think much more about it. My mind was racing with the unknown of Poppy’s induction and I wasn’t really taking much on board.
But what I have learnt is that making memories is so important. As an angel parent you have so little time with your precious baby that you need to make as many memories as possible. You need to cram a lifetime into a very short space of time. We were very lucky that our hospital arranged many of these and guided us to our options. Everything being our choice.
Once Poppy entered into the world I soon began to see that every memory, every moment was extremely precious. We spent as much time as we could just looking at her, holding her, taking in every single part of her. Poppy was just 1lb 5oz so I never imagined I’d be able to dress her. But I did and what a special moment this was. To have a beautiful little dress given to me by the hospital (which was donated by another angel mummy) to dress my little girl in was so special to me. Along with the dress came two tiny, identical teddy bears knitted in the same colour wool as her dress. Poppy has one in her hand and I have the other. This teddy has meant more to me than I can tell you. It went everywhere with me in the weeks following her birth, it came to her funeral with me and every night I hold it in my hand as I sleep.
In hospital we received a memory box full of very special things, we had her hand print and footprints done, we had a bereavement photographer come in and take beautiful photos for us to treasure, we got an aching arms bear donated by another angel family and we had casts taken of Poppy’s hands and feet. I also found myself popping things in my bag like the tape which Poppy was measured with and the packaging for Poppy’s dress. These memories are so precious not just for us but for our other children too.
Thanks to our amazing bereavement midwife each of our children have their own memory boxes too. They have each taken the time to decorate them. Each memory box had two small blankets in them. Our children decided by themselves to give Poppy one blanket and keep the other for themselves. Such a special thing to do and share with their baby sister. In our memory box we had two teddy bears with a little brown bear in its arms. Our boys both have a teddy bear and gave the little brown bears to Poppy. Our daughter has a hand in your heart – she has the key ring and then there is a small heart which has been cut out which Poppy has in her hand. These items which our children share with Poppy are incredibly special and an important part of our children’s grieving process. They have something incredibly special which they share with their baby sister.
These memories are so incredibly important. As an angel family our time with our precious baby is so short. Make as many memories as you possibly can as these are the things you will hold onto to keep your baby close. We especially love Poppy’s casts, we have one set framed on the wall and another set in a box which we can hold and touch. The day we received these I felt as though I brought a part of Poppy home. We can touch them and study the individual features of our precious girls hands and feet. Our 4 year old often asks if he can look at them and gives them a kiss.
Make these memories with your angel baby. This is your time. Hold your baby, study every little part of them. These memories, these moments will stay in your heart forever and will be an important part of your own story.
If you need additional support:
Arc – Antenatal results and choices.
Petals – The Baby Loss Counselling Charity.
Tommy’s – Baby Charity – Together, for every baby.
Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity.
All content is my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experience from my own journey of baby loss. This post may contain affiliate links, please see the Copyright and Disclosures page for more information.