Remembering our beautiful Poppy Rose. If love alone could have saved you, you would have stayed with us forever.
Losing your baby is hard. Beyond hard. Every families journey is different and some get answers whilst others have no answers at all. I’m not sure which is easier though? Not that any part of baby loss is easy. Being given an answer as to why our babies couldn’t stay with us or when there is no reason at all.
Continue reading “When there is no reason… My Baby Loss Story”
I don’t usually share photos of my family. Below you will find a photo of myself and my family where we are happy and smiling on holiday. I felt I needed to share the story behind my family photo to show how important it is that images we see can reflect the wrong story. You’ll often find that the reality is very different to what the eye can see.
Continue reading “The Story Behind the Photo – Our journey of love and loss”
When I first started writing about Poppy and our journey, I promised myself that I would be honest and open. Speaking from the heart can be incredibly hard especially when talking about our experience of TFMR (Termination for medical reasons). At the beginning of our journey I was desperately seeking people who would be honest with me. At the time we were beyond scared and devastated. We were facing decisions no parent should ever have to face.
Continue reading “Speaking from the Heart – TFMR”
Five. This is our number. This is the number of beautiful babies we have created. Yet the world only see 3. The world see my precious daughter and 2 precious sons.
Continue reading “Five – This is our number”
Elephant on my chest. This is the only way I can describe how my emotional pain became physical. I felt as though my chest was being crushed and I was fighting for breath. It felt as though an elephant was sitting on my chest.
Continue reading “Elephant on my chest – Baby loss and grief”
Feticide. One of many medical words which I wish I knew absolutely nothing about. Feticide is a medical procedure to stop your baby’s heart from beating before inducing labour 48 hours later.
Continue reading “What Feticide Really Means – TFMR”
Making memories was something that never occurred to me when going into hospital to give birth to Poppy. The day before our induction day Rob and I went shopping for a blanket and teddy for Poppy. We got two so Poppy could have one set and us the other. On the morning my induction began one of the midwives said to us that we would have plenty of opportunities to make memories. At the time I didn’t really know what she meant and didn’t think much more about it. My mind was racing with the unknown of Poppy’s induction and I wasn’t really taking much on board.
Continue reading “Making Memories – A short time to make a lifetime of memories”
Compassionate Induction. Two words which my bereavement midwife gave to me. Two words which have brought me a little comfort. What my Bereavement Midwife means by Compassionate Induction is bringing a pregnancy to an end when you have no choice. The only way to save your baby is to let your baby go. We really had no choice. Our precious baby had too many brain abnormalities. We had scans externally and internally by a fetal medicine doctor who had never before seen the abnormalities Poppy had. An MRI was performed to confirm the scan results. We had meetings with consultants, doctors and midwives. We also had a neo natal team for our case. Our baby was beyond poorly.
Continue reading “Compassionate Induction – A ‘decision’ no parent should have to make”
Losing Poppy is the hardest, most heart shattering experience we have been through. No parent should have to say goodbye to their baby. No parent should have to face the decisions we have had to make. Our journey should just not happen.
Continue reading “Losing Poppy – My beautiful angel”